*King Tatsumi* (mongoose) wrote,
*King Tatsumi*
mongoose

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Jesus Fucking Christ

It's been fucking DAYS since I wrote in this thing, man.
Again, I'm hella lazy, so I'm not going to bother catching up with all the shit that has gone on since like 2 months ago. I'm just gonna pick it up again from here. Hopefully, I'll stick with this again.
Today has been as of yet pretty fucking uneventful. I woke up around 1pm, and haven't even turned on the TV or anything yet, let alone gotten up, gotten dressed, or gone anywhere. I've just been laying on the floor with my mouth open like Christopher Reeves after a trip down the stairs, mailing back and forth with Saori-chan, my new merutomo. For those of you who don't live in Japan/haven't lived here within the past year or two, "merutomo" is basically "mail friend," someone who you write mail back and forth with on your cellphones. It's really popular in Japan recently.
And by the way, No, I am NOT a fucking "otaku" or anything. I call her "Saori-chan" because that's the appropriate way to refer to her in this situation. For all you Sailor Moon-ers out there, please do me the favor of choosing to do one of the following:

1) Stop calling everyone and everything "-chan," because 95% of the time it's misused, and it basically just sounds gay.
2) Learn Japanese.
Thank you.

I just wanted to get that off my chest. It's been annoying the fuck out of me for days.

Anyways, back to my story. Actually, there wasn't really any actual story, but still. So like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted (by Myself), I've been talking to this girl Saori since last night. She's 22, and she lives in Shiga Prefecture, the next one over. She's really cool. I'm hoping that when my mate Scott gets here next month I can present her to him as a sort of "gift," like I'm going to do with Kana over here, hahaha. He's helped me out a lot in the past so I feel that it's the least I can do to give him a few girls when he gets out here. I'll have to use my "Magical Powers Of Fucking With And Otherwise Completely Ripping Off And Totally Fucking Over Japanese People" (aka "Charisma") for about another week or so before I'll be able to get her to do something like that, though. I'm pretty sure it's a done deal, though, seeing as how I already got her to bring up the idea of coming to Kyoto for me to show her around and shit. I love Japanese people. or more appropriately, as I like to call them,

"Prey."

Of course, I don't see ALL of them that way, no no no. Rumiko, for example. She's completely impervious to my shit. She's a smart fucking girl, man, I'll tell you. And that's ok, because I don't try to fuck with her, anyways. She's my friend, and I don't fuck over my friends. Anyone else, though, that's a different story, hahaha. Also, Chika-pa. He's cool as fuck, I wouldn't fuck him over, either. Wow, that's about it, for now, at least. I thought there were more. Hahaha I'm a worse person than I thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm the worst person on this planet........I swear.... FUCK SHIT FUCK SHIT FUCK SHIT FUCK SHIT DICK VAGINA BELLYBOTTON

Anyways, why is "Banana Man" smiling all the time? There's nothing funny, or even interesting.... In front of him, there is only WHITE WALL... Is that funny, Banana Man???

By the way, I sometimes realize that my GF is such a beautiful girl.... But you know what? She likes to eat shit on toast..... hahaha Just kidding, she doesn't like bread!!!

(The part from "Yeah yeah yeah..." to "...she doesn't like bread!!!" was written by Gina, when I was outside having a smoke. I swear she's the funniest fucking yellow monkey I've ever met. By the way, "Banana Man" is name that she gave to this "Bananas In Pajamas" doll that sits on top of our TV. Actually, she's right; he does just sit there staring at the wall and smiling all the time. Fuck, she's hella funny.)

Well, my French toast is ready, so I'm gonna go sit my lazy ass down and eat and stare at the TV and laugh at all the silly little ragheads on the news running around dodging bombs and screaming about whatever bullshit it is that's fueling their most recent pathetic little acts of pure futility and stupidity. Anyone feel like commenting on this statement?

I'll try and write again tonight or tomorrow. Until then, BOOYAKASHA.
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